Chances I Have of Surviving Horror Movies: Ranked from most likely to least likely to survive

by Mia McRoberts

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1. Barbarian (2022)

   If I showed up to an Airbnb to find that it was double-booked, I would never agree to share the Airbnb with the stranger. I would just go home.

   If I saw a creepy basement in my Airbnb and heard screams and other creepy noises coming from it, I would never explore it. 

2. Child's Play (1988)

   Chucky is a doll. I am much bigger than him, so if he charged at me with a knife, maybe I would get some cuts from him, but I could just punt him away. 

   If I didn’t want to face Chucky, my strides are much larger than his, so I could just outrun him and get somewhere he couldn’t follow. Like a high ledge. 

3. Jaws (1975)

   I am a strong swimmer, and I do not live near an ocean. 

   If I did live near the ocean, I would never get far enough into the water where a large shark would have the opportunity to attack me. I know how dangerous rip currents are.

4. The Shining (1980)

5. I would never agree to go to an isolated hotel with my husband, my child, and myself for multiple months. Even if I did, Jack Torrance is a man; he has no special powers and got outsmarted by his young son. I could likely outsmart him or potentially win in a fight, given how mad he had become. His wife survived, and she was kind of a mess; I could survive. 

6. However, if the hotel was haunting me, I would stand no chance. It would definitely drive me crazy, and then I would become Jack Torrance. 

7. It (2017)

   I would never talk to a stranger in a sewer or go into the sewer, so It couldn’t get me that way.

   If I found out people were disappearing in my very small town or people were constantly turning up dead from a clown, I would leave. I would leave and never come back, and the clown could get other people, but not me.

   
   

Now, at this point in the list, I would like to preface that I don’t believe I would survive any of these movies.

6. Halloween (1978)

   Michael Myers is pure evil and cannot die. He would stop at nothing to kill me, would hunt me until the day I died, and there would be nothing I could do about it.

   The only chance I have is that he walks very slowly, so I could outrun him for a little while. 

7. Friday the 13^th (1980)

   Same reasoning for Michael stands for Jason. But Jason uses a machete, while Michael usually uses a kitchen knife, so Jason would be more likely to get me. He could reach me from farther away.

8. Alien (1979)

   I am either getting killed by the alien or dying in space.

   There is nowhere to run to or escape from the alien on that spaceship.

9. Annabelle (2014)

   Annabelle is one of the only horror characters to haunt my nightmares. 

   There would be nothing I could do to escape the evil spirit inside that doll. I would have no fighting chance.

10. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) 

    I love to sleep so much. I could not survive staying awake for long. 

    Once I fell asleep, I would stand no chance against Freddy.