I Don't Have Anyone to Talk to About This

By Ava Steiner

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Okay so the title might be kind of a lie because I have exactly one (1) steam/irl friend that I will chat with about this game, but I never see her so!!! 

I love a good visual novel, so when I consistently saw characters from I Was A Teenage Exocolonist duking it out on Tumblr’s Most Dateable, I had to check it out- and I am so, so glad I did. To quote another user, “this game shakes my brain up like a soda can”. 

You play as Sol, or Solane, or Solana, or if you want to get technical, Solanaceae. Your parents and many others have decided to leave a decrepit Earth (#relatable) on a 20 year trip for greener pastures- with those pastures being the far off planet, Vertumna IV. Halfway through their trip, they had you, and their friends had your friends. 

Unlike your friends, you can choose your augment- genetic enhancements given at birth. These have in-game and plot consequences: Eagle Eyes gives you a bonus with animals and perception, Sixth Finger ups your creativity and lets you play the photophoner better, and so on and so forth. You also have the ability to choose no augment, but why would you do that?

When you crash land on Earth at 10, your whole life (well, really, the next ten years) lies ahead of you. You can befriend and eventually romance your friends, such as the moody Dys, the bossy Marzipan or the tomboy Anemone. You can choose your career by spending time in humanities classes, sneaking outside of the colony to explore, or helping your mom on the farm. Vertumna is your oyster, and there’s much to see.

But not everything on the planet is wondrous- since the colony lost a vital source of food in the ship crash, you must find another way to feed the group. Your human bodies, though augmented, are susceptible to the sickness that this new ecosystem brings. And although some of the creatures on this planet are friendly, the most dangerous ones are not, and they will try to breach the walls of the community. 

Fair warning: there will be loss on your first playthrough. Unless you look up a walkthrough (which, boo, why?), it is inevitable that there will be death in the colony. You might get lucky in saving someone at the right time, but every action has a sacrifice. You will lose, and people will die because of a choice you made.

Luckily for you, your death isn’t the end. Your life is a groundhog day, and even after you die, you’ll wake up right back at the beginning, 10 years old and ready to land on Vertumna.

Some things time cannot change. No matter how much you love a certain character, she might love leading her colony more. Or, her innate disgust with her own mortality might kill her faster than any disease. Or, his desire to rejoin nature will always outweigh his desire to stay with you. Maybe your species are so fundamentally different that it’s impossible for you to be together, especially when your families are at war. These are the truths of IWATEX. No matter how many times you live, you and your loved ones will always die. You just have to enjoy the ride while you’re on it.

But that is the only verity of IWATEX. Everything else really is up to you. You can try to colonize the whole planet, or confine the colony to its original settlement.  You can side with the pacifists of your group, or join the soldiers as they fight against the many dangers that roam outside the walls.  You can even decide to blow up your ship before it enters Vertumna’s stratosphere. The choice is yours.

Play IWATEX, seriously. It’s beautiful, both in appearance and story, and it’s got a killer soundtrack. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

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